A stage is not a step. A step is an instruction to do one specific thing. A stage is a convention we use to describe part of a process, and it says nothing about how long that part takes.

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A stage is not a step

A step is an instruction to do one specific thing. Read this book. Meditate for five minutes. One instruction, one moment in time.

A stage is something else. It is a convention we use to describe part of a process. It might last a week or it might last ten years. It might contain three actions or forty-five. It says where you are in the work; it says nothing about how long the work takes or what it will consist of for you.

The distinction matters because of what happens when it collapses. The problem with the self-help industry is that everything becomes a three-step process, no matter who you are, no matter your background, no matter your circumstances. And obviously that does not work.

So: throw out the one-size-fits-all methodologies, the thirty-day hacks, the bombastic buzzwords and the secret formulas. What follows is not a sequence to be completed. It is a way of knowing where you are standing.

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The three stages

Assess. The purpose of this stage is to identify your vision and your critical priorities. It starts with an in-depth assessment, and then a review of storylines, strengths and weaknesses, communication styles and limiting beliefs. We explore what comes back in a way that broadens awareness and generates insight. As I put it to Keith: the first thing I do with a client, and the first thing I do for myself when I face something new, is appraise where I am.

Define. This is the time to plan and create a tailored map for the road ahead, and it is where the FM ROADMAP does its work. There is a large difference between motion, which is doing things, and direction, which is going somewhere in particular. The objective matters less than the movement towards the objective.

Execute. Execution is the bridge between intention and achievement. We track progress, take stock of what has been achieved, and identify the obstacles that arise or still stand in the way. Until you execute, things stay in your head, and they are simply stories that have not run their course. Only when you execute them do they become real.

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Where people get stuck

In my experience people rarely get stuck inside a stage. They get stuck in the passages between them: between assess and define, and between define and execute. Usually one or the other.

Some struggle to find a new direction at all. Others hold the direction perfectly clearly and cannot move into execution, because moving would mean releasing the old story they are still carrying.

And it does not run in one direction only. You release an old story, create a new one, execute it, and find you do not much like it. So you go back, redefine the direction, and move again. That is not the process failing. That is the process.

Which is why the useful question is not which stage you are in. It is which passage you are stuck in.

What you find here is a very summarized version of a complex process, not an exhaustive explanation. If you want to find out more, contact me at info@federicomalatesta.com.